For the past year and most of my adult life, I have had an issue with being honest. No matter how big or small the lie, I always find a way to mislead those close to me. It probably explains why I have been alone most of my life. Luckily for me I have met and married the woman of my dreams. Although, as pattern would dictate itself, I have lied to her numerous times. Yet, for reasons I can’t explain, she stays with me. She always says that when she stops asking questions then she will be done with the relationship. Needless to say we are close to having her stop asking questions. My past lies are catching up with me and seems like every week a new lie comes out.

On August 15th I made a promise to her that I would stop drinking, lying, and smoking. As of today I have 28 days sober. I have tried not to lie and think that I am holding up to my promise. However, because there have been so many lies in the past it is hard to keep track. She has asked me to come completely clean and tell her all the lies but I have nothing. I can’t think of anything else that I have lied about. In my mind I have come clean but I know that there are so many other lies out there and thus where the frustration lies. Sooner or later another lie is going come out and another argument will ensue. All I can do is keep my promise on August 15th that there are no more lies and that I have stopped drinking and smoking.

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Photo: Mike Levine