So here I sit, Saturday morning, listening to music while I write this post. Seems like an ordinary day, but what makes it different is my desire to drink. Today marks my 38thday sober. I missed my AA meeting yesterday and know I should go to a meeting today but I have my step son and that is reason enough not to drink. Even though the desire is there, I know I have to put him and my wife first.
The most critical thing to know is that it is normal to want a drink. We get in trouble when we act on those impulses. That is why it is imperative to have a sponsor and friends/family that understand and talk with. Although I do not have a sponsor as of yet, I do have reasons for not drinking. My wife, my stepson, and even writing helps curb the craving. In addition, getting outside and being active helps to take the mind off drinking. This morning the three of us went to play tennis and just getting fresh air was enough to make me feel better.
In addition, the wife and I have been getting along today. A primary reason for that is that we have her son and put him first. We are able to put our differences aside for his sake. The last thing we want to do is fight or argue in front of him. Even though its superficial it still feels good to get along. Almost feels like a real family even though it is temporary.
As far as my depression and anxiety, so far this morning it has been good. I haven’t had to take any of my anxiety medicine and my depression is not that bad. Probably due to the fact that we aren’t arguing and feel that I have room to breathe. I was able to get a little homework done and now have time to write for myself. As mentioned earlier, the feelings I know are temporary but I will cherish the time that I have.