My wife and I are still sleeping in separate bedrooms. This morning she awoke and was in a “busy mode” bouncing around the house since 6am. Making coffee, taking shower, getting ready for work. Making as much noise as possible. To make a point that she has a life and I’m just a lazy piece of shit because I don’t work (Medically retired from Army). Indicated that it was a beautiful day and I should get outside and stop feeling sorry for myself.

This statement really bothers me. Depression is consuming and does not let someone to just “stop feeling sorry for themselves”. I don’t choose to feel this way and is not something that I can easily control. Sure, medication helps somewhat, and talking with my therapist. As well as going to group meetings, and AA meetings. However, to just get over it, or stop feeling sorry for myself is not an easy as it sounds. It’s hard enough getting myself out of bed and to a coffee shop where I can think, write, and do homework.

Tonight after our group meeting, the wife came home with all kinds of ideas. She states that she needs to limit her face-to-face time with me. What the heck is that supposed to mean? We live together, kind of hard to limit seeing one another. We were scheduled to take a trip to TX next week to celebrate her friends sobriety, but now it seems like I am no longer invited. Since after all she needs to limit her face-to-face time with me. I really don’t care. Maybe good to have a couple of days off from one another.

Anyways… another crappy day. Hope it gets better soon. On a positive note, I’m still sober.

depression-2912424_1280-700x385